Hiya—Been a while, I’m not even sure if it’s still appropriate to say happy new year by now but, here we are!
As late as I am to 2023, I have at least caught the start of February just in the nick of time… in this timezone anyways.
I can warn you in advance: I don’t really have any content for you today.
Given my rough scheduling for a while now, I think it’s a good time to take a step back for me and have a little bit of a heart-to-heart on where we can go from here.
Before all else of course, I’d love to just thank everyone who has read a post of mine, dropped a like, left a follow, a comment, anything!
Everyone who’s interacted with me on this site so far, no matter how dew or indirect, have always had stories of their own to tell and a world of their mind to share, and coming off a history of rather negative online experiences, this has been a much-needed relief for me!
Whether you’re a longtime reader, a newcomer, or someone just dropping by for a very quick peek, I want to let you know that no matter what else happens, I will always appreciate you sharing me even a bit of your time.
It means so much to me for people to come by, and anything more than that can be a nice bonus by itself.
So whatever’s happening in your life, I sincerely wish for your hard times to pass and for better memories to come along—all of us deserve so much better, don’t we~?
A Juggling Act…
Now, I think it’s entirely fair to say that my content has never exactly been consistent (*_*)
I started off with very loose introductions, then went from there into writing, into music analysis, into more music analysis, then into some travel blogging, and every now and then something out of place.
If you ask me right now what I feel my specialties are, I’d still answer you the same way: I feel that, creatively speaking, my fiction writing and my music are what I’d love to share the most with you all, even if they’re not the best!
A lot of my earlier posts also had these lengthy, rambling musings on more philosophical or social topics—Bit pretentious, probably, but it’s one of those things I do love dabbling with if I can!
In more recent months, a lot of you may have read my Singapore posts—I’d 100% planned on finishing the 4 or 5 day series by the start of January, but as you can see, that hasn’t quite happened, to put it mildly (*^_^*)
And that really brings me to the core of what I feel I’ve failed at addressing time and time again:
Time’s Grand Disappearing Act
I no longer have a set schedule… I just can’t deny that, even if I wanted to.
When I started out, I cannot tell you what substance I was abusing or what god’s powers I stole—I filled up an entire month with daily posts on the weekdays, many 1000, some even 2000 words long.
That period in August was in a bit of a break period for me, personally-speaking, which motivated me to take up this hobby in the first place, but early September put an end to that, as life in general started rolling again ♪( ´▽｀)
And here’s the weird situation it’s put me in, though one probably relatable for some of you writing content too: I want to keep producing material here for both my sake and yours, and yet that motivation to do so feels very empty a lot of the time.
When vacation came about in December, I felt that spark reignite somewhere, which was why, for the first time in a while, I set up expectations and an implied promise with my Singapore posts.
I’m overall still really glad with the reactions I’ve been getting on part two of it all, but I can’t help but feel like I’m letting you and I down by not continuing further.
I don’t have to feel like this of course, and I certainly don’t wanna imply I’m blaming or feel obligated to anybody here, but an itch that lingers will persist all the same.
Even just writing this feels like a bit of a challenge for me.
In my past, I’ve had a history of coming in loud into some forum or game, losing interest slowly, and then just quietly disappearing, probably leaving person after person confused and maybe betrayed at how silent I become towards them.
So I want to change that here, not because I feel something is forcing me to, but because I feel like I’m letting down my very own interests, likes, and passions if I pack up and leave.
Because I feel that, in the long term, there’s more people and content waiting for me here that I will love and enjoy when they come about.
To the rest of 2023: Plans, Prospects, Promises
And thus we’ve reached the part that may or may not come back to haunt me as we go forward~
I’ve promised a lot over my six-ish months here, and yet I’ve failed to make good on so many of them from laziness, lack of motivation, lack of time, you know, the usual.
Now I don’t really like dealing with uncertainties either—I’m expecting some major life events later this year, so I can’t write down promises for that long, but I do want to outline some of what I wish to publish here in the near future!
So, let’s see~
- The Singapore Blogs – Still two more posts for me to finish here, possibly a third retrospective too, and make no mistake, this is at the top of my priorities right now!
- The Bataan Blogs – These have been very disjointed and scattered, but now that I’m finding some ideas as an occasional travel blogger, I want to go and write pieces specifically for these too!
- Home for Somebody Else & Algid Vale – My two latest songs at the moment, which I want to write dedicated pieces to when time allows.
- Blood Brothers – My fourth finished manuscript & only novella which I teased previously—In terms of the writing side of my content, I feel there’s a lot of good and bad in this book that others like me could learn from!
- Short Stories – Now how could I forget these? They may not be the most frequent, but I have lots of fun writing and sharing not just a piece itself, but also the inspiration for each one, and my own thoughts on what I’ve created!
- Heart-to-hearts – You know, just like this right now! Not just a place for me to dump my content and be patronising, but also a place for me to be human.
That’s the thought I wanna end this with I think: being human.
While there’s only so much I myself can realistically share, all of us are people and no matter what we hide behind, moments of vulnerability like this will pop up every now and then.
And for what’s it worth? I think I’m glad that I’m taking this chance to be honest for once.
To focus not on my experiences or my passions, but on me—that person behind them who finds themselves still stuck in a motivational drain, but pulling upwards nonetheless!
Whether you stick around or not, I just wanna thank you for spending even a bit of time here with me!
And if you will follow for when I finally make good on some promises, then I’d love to thank you too for giving this oaf a chance (*’▽’*)
‘Til then though, all the love to ‘ya, and a very, very late happy new years too~!